A place to chit chat, share whats going on in your life, and generally for people who feel like talking but dont know where.
Marzi is ace and has some books available on Amazon!
This is the third draft of this post, as well.
I guess I might belong, eheh.
Heyyy, I am so sorry for missing two full weeks, and barely beeing online. Tl;dr: had a bad depressive episode. Yet i still managed to read all new posts and comments in the meantime. i apprechiate all you people very much, even when socialising can be impossible. Love to you all!
I recently started using breathing exercises for the first time in a few years when I'm feeling anxious, and they've been helping a lot. I hadn't quite realized how big of a difference actually going by time could make as opposed to just generally trying to slow my breathing - if you've never tried it I'd highly recommend it.
I'm having trouble finding the pattern(s) that work best, though. It seems to vary so much; one day one will feel claustrophobically slow and another day it's anxiety-inducingly fast, kinda defeating the purpose. But I don't want to abandon timing it altogether when my gut is apparently pretty bad at figuring out what is the right pace.
Maybe I'm just overthinking this, but I'd love to hear your opinions and experiences. Also, do you use any other physical strategies, like belly breathing?
Hello everyone, my first post here. First of all, I don't have a job, I've never worked (I'm 20 years old), and I have no idea how to go about getting my first job. What would you recommend? Do you have any tips on how to conduct myself in a job interview? Any advice on how to feel less anxious?
Hey sorry for the delay. i had no acces to a computer, and the app doesnt give me the ability to pin posts. Have a nice week!
All joking aside, I highly recommend participating in a social anxiety group, whether it's a support group or a therapy group. Attending group in and of itself is therapeutic regardless of participation.
All joking aside - what are you saying "No" to because of social anxiety?
I (18) have always been insecure and paranoid that I'm freakish, off-putting, and annoying, especially since I'm trans and have been bullied for gender nonconformity since I was a kid. This is not helped by the fact that I've always had trouble getting people to be comfortable with me. I try to let loose and talk normally - fake it till I make it - but deep down I fear that people will see past this "confident" façade and be able to perceive the real, terrified me.
I've always tried to rationalize these fears away by dismissing them as simple paranoia. But lately I've confided in a couple of close friends about my struggles and asked for their honest opinions. I'm not sure if this was a grave mistake - they confirmed that my "normal" act wasn't working as well as I thought. They pointed out some odd behaviours like acting "shifty" by avoiding eye contact, acting "desperate" etc. which sent me into a new spiral of overthinking.
Logically I know that I shouldn't be taking this personally, but I cannot help but feel as if I am inherently "defective" at connecting with other people. I'm just reinforcing my negative self-perception all over again, and I'm starting to lose hope that I could ever be likable. External validation shouldn't matter to my inherent worth, but annoyingly it does.
If anybody has advice on how to build up a healthier internal sense of worth, that would be neat. I'm stuck in an odd spot without accessible therapy right now, since I just graduated HS and the school therapist was incompetent at handling trans issues anyway. Looking for something that might help tide me over until I secure mental health support at uni - which I also anticipate myself struggling with due to social anxiety, I'm sure you all can relate.
Thanks for reading all this - have a good day.
I don't really use social media at all. I do have accounts on instagram and Facebook but only use them to occasionally post my art but never any personal posts, while most of the people i know are borderline addicted to sharing every moment of their life online.
But I've been thinking lately that maybe i should be doing more of that. I think it would be easier to talk to people online and then I'd be more comfortable talking to them face to face.
But on the other hand.. I feel a bit weird to start posting personal posts suddenly when everyone knows me as someone who doesn't really do that. I generally have a hard time doing something out of what people expect from me.
This is a bit of a ramble. Anyone have a similar experience/thought process? How do you make friends??
i know this sounds paradox and maybe some will not understand this (yet), but i want to shine a light on some positive side effects of this primarily negative topic.
for me, i feel like social anxiety has made me more empathetic towards my fellow humans. i work as a service worker in sales, and many of my coworkers don't care about the customers and are mostly just annoyed at them. i try to show understanding since i never know what someone is going through and how hard this shopping trip is for them. i have the motto that i want to give people around me more space, and more time to do whatever. however much time they might need. because i know i sometimes need this, and i am very happy when i can see someone who apprechiates it when i don’t pressure them to buy something. i think we all can practice a little more empathy. i imagine without experiencing social anxiety myself i would have less acceptance of other peoples struggles whatever kind that might be.
Hello you beautiful people. I want to start this little experiment where i will pin a megathread each week for talking about your week, share small victories, or discuss your goals for the next week. There are no topic rules to this, any kind of small talk is welcome. :) I figured since some of us might lack a space to share about their daily life, maybe we can use such a place here.
I need help. I'm completely socially isolated and inept. I have been for the majority of my life. I'm in my late 20s now and I've never had a friend, or any kind of relationship. I feel I'm too depressed to begin extraciting myself from this deep chasm I've drifted into now. I work as much as I can, never turning down a shift, but if I'm not at work I sleep or lay on the floor at home, crippled. No energy or motivation to do anything, even eat. Work is my only chance to socialise. I'm grateful my coworkers are nice to me, and they're the only good thing in my life. I'm far more attached to them than they are to me. They're not friends. They just put up with me.
I can't do this anymore. I've sold all my possessions of any value, and I'm ready to go. I've already attempted suicide and ended up in the psych ward before. I don't know how to form relationships. I'm too fucked up. I want friends, but what do friends do? How do you know if someone's your friend? I've been isolated for so long I don't know how to be with others. I'm past the physical symptoms of social anxiety. I used to shake, sweat profusely, stammer, feel like my clothes were choking me, etc., but now I'm just numb all the time. My mind still goes blank when I attempt to converse though.
I'm miserable and repulsive. I know that. No one wants to be around people like me, but I can't fix this alone. I don't know how to fix this. I'm too ashamed. I can't face people.
What are your go-to safety behaviors? Have you tried challenging yourself to reduce them? What happened if you did?
If I have to communicate in written form, there is no to very little anxiety. But if I were to make the same arguments in person, it may not go so well....
I am mostly looking for healthy ways to cope with stressful situations. what do you do when the panic kicks?
It's really important to understand this cycle. Every time you decide to avoid a social situation, your anxiety lessens, which feels great in the short run. But in the long term, avoidance only leads to more anxiety because you don't get chances to practice skills and to discover that the reality is often less scary than your imagination.
The best way to reduce social anxiety is to practice socializing intentionally. You can set measurable and realistic goals, like "I will spend 3 minutes making small talk with the barista" or "I will compliment my coworkers twice weekly" or "I will stay at the party for an hour and talk to 2 different people, asking at least 3 questions each time."
Find a small way to start exposing yourself to social situations, even if it's just getting out of the house and going for a walk in the park among other people. The more you avoid, the worse it gets - even though it will feel great initially when you avoid.
A safe space for people to discuss their experiences, feelings and thoughts on social anxiety and socialphobia.
Values: Acceptance Openness Understanding Equality
- Be respectful of and considered towards others.
- No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments.
- Do not gatekeep or diagnose.
- Discussions regarding medication are allowed as long as you are describing your own situation and not telling others what to do.